PS 

3521 

.E45 

M577 

1907 


NO  PLAYS  EXCHANGED 


Edition 

Of  PL7YY3.  ma 


Miss 


Prim's  Kinder 
garten 


Price,  25  Cents 


»  BOSTON 


COPYRIGHT,  1889,  BY  WALTER  H.  BAKER  &  CO. 


H.  OP*  Pinero's  Plays 

Price,  SO  gents  Gacb 

THF  AWIA70W^  Farce  in  Three  Acts.  Seven  males,  five  fe- 
iK&Ei  rk vlirkaLe %J l\ u  males.  Costumes,  modern;  scenery,  not 
difficult.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

THE  CABINET  MINISTER  SSS.  in«JrUiZ.  3? 

tumes,  modern  society;  scenery,  three  interiors.  Plays  a  full  evening. 

FIANFlY  FIIPR"   Farce  in  Three  Acts.    Seven  males,  four  fe- 
i/lviv  males.    Costumes,  modern;  scenery,  two  inte- 
riors. Plays  two  hours  and  a  half. 

THE  GAY  LORD  QUEX  SMSS; 

scenery,  two  interiors  and  an  exterior.   Plays  a  full  evening. 

HK  HOTTCF  IN  nUHFR  Comedy  in  Four  Acts.  Nine  males, 
niO  IWUDSi  111  four  females.    Costumes,  modern; 

scenery,  three  interiors.   Plays  a  full  evening. 

THF  HARRY  HflP^F  Comedy  in  Three  Acts.  Ten  males, 
IllE.  nyODl  riUflOEi  nve  females.  Costumes,  modern; 
Scenery  easy.   Plays  two  hours  and  a  half. 

fPfC  Drama  in  Five  Acts.  Seven  males,  seven  females.  Costumes, 
lIVliJ  modern ;  scenery,  three  interiors.    Plays  a  full  eveniiig. 

I  ATYV  RHflNTIFITI  Play  in  Four  Acts.  Eight  males,  seven 
Liill/I  DV/UlllirULi  females.  Costumes,  modern;  scen- 
ery, four  interiors,  not  easy.   Plays  a  full  evening. 

I  FTTY  £)rama  m  Four  Acts  and  an  Epilogue.  Ten  males,  five 
Ij"!  I  I  females.  Costumes,  modern;  scenery  complicated. 
Plays  a  full  evening. 

THF  MAflQTR  ATF  Farce  in  Three  Acts.  Twelve  males, 
lOEi  lU-MVllU  1  l\t\  1  Li  four  females.  Costumes,  modern; 
scenery,  all  interior.  Plays  two  hours  and  a  half. 


Sent  prepaid  on  receipt  of  price  by 

Walter      ^afeer  &  Company 

No.  5  Hamilton  Place,  Boston,  Massachusetts 


Miss  Prim's  Kindergarten 

or 

A  School  of  To-Day 


An  Entertainment  in  One  Scene 


By  JESSIE  A.  KELLEY 

Author  of  "  The  Ped/ers*  Parade,"  "  Squire 
Judkin's  Apple  Bee,"  "  Santa* s  Surprise,"  etc. 


BOSTON 
WALTER  H.  BAKER  &  CO. 


Miss  Prim's  Kindergarten 


CHARACTERS 


Boys 
Reginald  Smith. 
Cecil  Blake. 
Earl  Stryker. 
Duke  McNulty. 
Van  Dyke  McAllister. 
James  Danforth. 
Lionel  Boldwood. 
Ethelbert  Salmon. 
Julian  Ward  (stutterer). 
Carl  Schultz  {German). 

Miss  Priscilla  Prim,  the 


Girls 
Viola  Browne. 
Alyce  Howard. 
Mae  Faulkner. 
Kathryn  Dennison. 
Hazel  Carbury. 
Genevieve  Hubbard  (lisps). 
Gladys  Martin. 
Hyacinth  Myrtle. 
Marianne  Rutledge. 
Gwendolyn  Hollister 
{spectacles,  precise  and  serious). 
Teacher. 


Copyright,  1907,  by  Walter  H.  Baker  &  Co. 


NOTES 

The  entertainment  as  given  requires  ten  men  and  ten  women 
although  either  more  or  less  could  take  the  parts  if  desired. 
The  parts  are  all  very  easy  except  the  teacher's  and,  although 
she  should  be  familiar  with  her  part,  she  could  readily  have 
the  book  on  her  desk,  or  inside  of  another  book  in  her  hand,  to 
follow  the  program  along.  In  writing  on  board  see  that  all 
characters  are  large  enough  to  be  seen  by  the  audience.  There 
may  be  some  mischief  but  it  must  be  done  quietly  or  there  will 
be  confusion  and  the  audience  will  be  unable  to  hear  the  les- 
sons. Kindergarten  objects  may  be  given  the  pupils  for  busy 
work  if  desired.  No  scenery  or  curtain  is  necessary.  The 
teacher  could  have  a  desk  at  one  side  of  the  platform,  pupils 
may  sit  in  small  chairs  without  desk. 

COSTUMES 

The  costumes  should  be  very  childish,  some  of  the  men  wear- 
ing Lord  Fauntleroy  suits,  with  the  wide  embroidered  collar 
and  cuffs,  large  bow  tie,  curls,  others  could  wear  the  Russian 
suits  and  some  the  pinafores  buttoned  in  back,  with  string  ties. 
Ethelbert  should  have  a  large  patch  of  bright  red  on  his  pants, 
Carl,  rather  stout,  dressed  in  German  fashion,  square  hair-cut. 
For  the  women  any  simple,  childish  dress  or  ties  could  be  used 
and  the  hair  should  be  dressed  in  the  prevailing  styles  for 
little  girls. 

SONGS  AND  JOKES 

The  songs  suggested  may  be  found  in  the  book  entitled 
"Games  With  Music"  by  Lois  Bates.  Any  simple  kinder- 
garten songs  may  be  substituted  and  books  containing  them 
may  be  found  in  almost  any  public  library.  More  songs, 
recitations  or  drills  could  be  introduced  if  a  still  longer  enter- 
tainment is  wanted  and  parents  could  visit  the  latter  part  of  the 
session,  each  one  telling  of  the  wonderful  smartness  of  her 
child.  The  jokes  should  be  given  slowly  and  it  is  wise  many 
times  to  repeat  that  all  may  see  the  point.  Many  good  jokes 
are  spoiled  by  poor  telling.  Use  local  names  and  make  local 
hits  whenever  possible.  Give  the  audience  time  to  laugh  be- 
fore proceeding. 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 
in  2015 


https://archive.org/details/missprimskinderg01kell 


Miss  Prim's  Kindergarten 


SCENE. —  Of  no  importance.  Teacher  enters,  removes  wraps, 
then  busies  herself  preparing  work  for  children.  Children 
straggle  in  by  ones  and  twos  each  with  diminutive  lunch 
basket.  A  number  of  children  may  come  through  the 
audience,  some  playing  marbles,  jumping  rope,  boys  fighting, 
girls  with  arms  around  one  another  boys  teasing  girls,  etc. 
One  child  gives  Teacher  a  pretzel,  another  two  or  three  dirty 
pieces  of  candy,  another  an  apple,  flowers,  etc.  One  boy 
takes  a  bottle  from  Teacher's  desk,  smells  of  it,  then 
slyly  puts  some  on  his  hair  and  places  cap  on  head  again. 
Boy  comes  in  crying. 

Teacher.    Why  are  you  crying,  Reginald  ? 

Reginald.  Some  of  the  boys  made  me  kiss — boo-hoo-hoo 
— a  little  girl — boo-hoo — out  in  the  yard. 

Teacher.  That  was  outrageous.  Why  didn't  you  come 
right  to  me  ? 

Reg.  I — I — I — didn't  know— boo-hoo — that  you  would 
1-1-let — boo-hoo — me  kiss  you. 

(Bell  rings.) 

Teacher.    Good- morning,  children. 
All.    Good-morning,  teacher. 

Teacher.  Let  us  sing  our  morning  song,  "  Washing  One's 
Self."    I  want  to  hear  every  sweet,  little  voice  this  morning. 

Cho.  ("  Washing  One's  Self."    Put  in  all  the  motions.) 

Concert  Recitation. 

Are  you  a  careful  child 

Whose  hands  are  white  and  clean  {hold  up  hands,) 
Or  on  your  fingers  can 

Black  marks  be  always  seen  ?    (Points  to  fingers). 
Oh,  yes,  to  keep  them  clean, 
We  all  must  surely  try, 
For  if  we  do  not  now 
'Twill  be  harder  by  and  by. 

% 


6 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Teacher.    How  should  our  finger-nails  be  always  kept  ? 

Concert  Recitation. 

No  ugly  arches  black  I    {Points  to  finger-nails.) 

On  our  ringers  will  be  seen, 
For  each  morning  bright  and  early 

We  our  finger-nails  will  clean. 

Teacher.    What  must  you  do  to  your  teeth  ? 

Concert  Recitation. 

Our  teeth  so  white  and  pearly, 

Are  set  all  in  a  row 
Each  morning  we  must  brush  them 
And  keep  them  white  as  snow. 

Teacher.    When  do  your  teeth  look  nice  ? 

Cho. 

When  clean.    (  Close  teeth;  open  lips  to  show  teeth.) 

Teacher.  Some  of  our  little  folks  are  absent  to-day.  Can 
any  one  tell  me  where  Rupert  Hatch  is  ? 

Duke.    I  think  he's  in  bed,  teacher. 

Teacher.    Why  do  you  think  that,  Duke  ? 

Duke.  Coz  I  saw  his  shirt  on  the  line,  and  I  guess  he's  got 
to  stay  in  bed  till  it  dries. 

Teacher.    Where  were  you  yesterday,  Viola? 

Viola.  It  rained  awful  hard  and  I  asked  mother  which  I'd 
better  do,  go  to  school  in  the  rain  and  get  soaking  wet  and  get 
cold  and  die  or  just  get  an  absent  mark  against  my  name  and 
my  mother  said  she  thought  I'd  better  get  the  absent  mark  but 
I  told  her  you'd  be  hopping  mad. 

{Boy  comes  in  late.) 

Teacher.    Aren't  you  ashamed  to  come  in  late,  Cecil  ? 

Cecil.  Yessum,  but  I  couldn't  help  it.  I  dreamed  I  lost 
my  cap  and  it  took  me  such  a  long  time  to  find  it  that  I  had 
to  be  late. 

Teacher.  Take  your  seat  and  look  out  not  to  have  that 
kind  of  a  dream  again. 

Kathryn.  Teacher,  here's  a  note  Sammie's  mother  told 
me  to  give  you. 


MISS  prim's  kindergarten 


7 


{Hands  Teacher  a  note.) 

Teacher  {reads  note  aloud).  "Samuel  cannot  come  to 
school  to-day  as  he  has  glued  his  head  to  the  bureau  and  we 
have  not  been  able  to  separate  them  yet."  {Another  boy  en- 
ters.) Here's  another  boy  late!  Did  you  have  a  dream 
too? 

Van  Dyke.  No'm,  I  didn't  have  no  dream.  It  was  so 
plaguey  slippery  that  every  step  I  took  frontward,  I  slipped 
back  two. 

Teacher.  I'm  afraid  you  exaggerate  that  a  little,  Van 
Dyke.    If  that  is  so  how  did  you  ever  get  here  at  all  ? 

Van.  I  gave  up  trying  to  get  here  and  started  to  go  home 
so  then  I  got  here. 

Teacher.  Rosie  Callahan  is  absent,  too.  Did  any  one  see 
her? 

Alyce.  I  saw  her  out  behind  her  barn  watching  her  father 
husk  a  hen.  She  said  they  were  going  to  have  company  to 
dinner  so  they  were  going  to  have  something  to  eat. 

Teacher.    What  do  you  mean  by  husking  a  hen,  Alyce? 

Al.    Taking  its  feathers  off,  of  course. 

Teacher.  We  call  that  picking  a  hen,  Alyce.  Where's 
Percy  this  morning  ? 

Earl.  I  saw  him  when  I  was  coming  to  school,  and  I 
asked  him  if  he  wasn't  coming  this  morning  and  he  said, 
"  Nope,  my  ma  said  I  could  play  so  I  ain't  goin'." 

Teacher.  Didn't  you  tell  him  he  ought  to  be  a  good  boy 
and  come  to  school  ? 

Earl.  Yessum,  I  told  him  teacher' d  lick  him,  and  he  said, 
"No  she  won't  neither,  'cause  my  ma  could  lick  teacher  and 
she  dassent  lick  me,"  and  I  said,  "  How  do  you  know  your 
ma  could  lick  the  teacher?"  and  he  said,  "  Coz  she  can  lick 
pa,  and  he's  bigger  than  the  teacher  and  " 

Teacher.  We  won't  talk  any  more  about  him  now.  Who 
can  tell  me  where  Raymond  is  ? 

Hazel.  I  seen  him  this  morning,  and  he  said  there  was 
something  the  matter  with  your  temper,  and  he  was  going  to 
give  it  absent  treatment. 

Teacher.  Lionel,  why  do  you  keep  your  cap  on?  Don't 
you  know  polite  little  boys  always  take  their  caps  off  in  the 
house  ? 

Lionel.    I — can't — take — it— off   {Cries.) 

Teacher.    What  is  the  matter  ? 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Lion.  I'd  just  like  to  know  what  stuff  is  in  the  bottle  on 
your  desk. 

Teacher.    Which  bottle?    This  one?    {Picks  up  bottle.} 
Lion.  Yessum. 

Teacher.  That  is  glue,  Lionel,  but  what  has  that  to  do 
with  your  cap  ? 

Lion,  (snuffling).  I — I — thought  it  was  hair  oil,  and  I 
put  a  lot  of  it  on  my  hair  and  now  my  cap's  all  stuck  on  and 
I  can't  get  it  off. 

Teacher.  Perhaps  that  will  be  a  lesson  for  you  to  let  other 
people's  property  alone.  Come  here  and  let  me  try  to  get  your 
cap  off.  (Teacher  tries  to  pull  cap  off  but  in  vain,  while  boy 
makes  up  dreadful  faces,  howls,  and  Jumps  from  one  foot  to 
the  other.)  You  may  go  and  sit  over  by  the  stove,  and  per- 
haps the  glue  will  melt  so  we  can  pull  the  cap  off.  My  chil- 
dren seem  very  fond  of  glue  to-day.  {Boy  sits  i?i  one  corner 
and  finally  has  streams  of  glue  running  down  his  face.  Keeps 
trying  to  remove  cap  and  finally  succeeds,  when  he  dances  and 
waves  cap  wildly.  Asks  if  he  tnay  wash  his  face.  Teacher 
picks  up  pretzel  from  desk.)  Carl,  you  must  have  noticed  that 
I  didn't  like  the  other  pretzels  you  brought  me,  they  were  so 
covered  with  salt.    Your  father  is  a  baker,  isn't  he,  Carl? 

Carl.    Yes,  ma'am. 

Teacher.  And  did  you  have  him  make  this  one  with  no 
salt  on  it  on  purpose  for  me  ?    How  very  kind  of  him  ! 

Carl.  No,  ma'am,  he  didn't  make  it  no  diffrent,  but  I 
licked  the  salt  ail  off  so  you'd  like  it  better. 

Marianne.  Teacher,  did  you  like  the  candy  I  gave  you 
yesterday  ? 

Teacher.  Yes,  Marianne,  it  was  very  nice  and  I  wish  to 
thank  you  for  it. 

Mar.  I  wanted  my  cat  to  have  it,  and  put  it  in  his  mouth 
twice,  but  he  wouldn't  eat  it,  so  I  thought  I'd  give  it  to  my 
dear  teacher. 

{Knock  at  door.    Teacher  opens  door.    JVew  pupil  enters.) 

Teacher.  Good  morning,  little  boy.  Are  you  a  new 
scholar  ? 

Julian  (stuttering).    Y-y-y-yes,  m'm'm'm'a'am. 
Teacher.    What  is  your  name  ? 
Jul.    J-J-J-J- Julian  W-W-W-W-ard. 

(Stamps  foot  and  makes  faces  in  his  endeavors  to  talk.) 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


9 


Teacher.    And  do  you  stutter  all  the  time,  Julian  ? 
Jul.    N-n-n-no,    m'm'ma'am,    o-o-o-only    w-w-when  I 
t-t-t-talk. 

Teacher.  Well,  I'm  glad  that's  all.  You  may  take  this 
seat,  Julian.  Now  we  will  have  our  little  morning  talk  before 
we  begin  our  lessons.  You  know  we  said  that  to-day  we  were 
going  to  begin  to  do  some  little  act  of  kindness  each  day. 
Have  you  done  so  this  morning  ? 

Ethelbert.  I  did  an  act  of  kindness  for  Russell  Jones  this 
morning. 

Teacher.    I  am  very  glad  to  hear  that.    What  did  you  do  ? 

Eth.  I  licked  him  so  bad  he  won't  be  able  to  come  to 
school  for  a  week.    Gee,  won't  he  have  the  fun  ! 

Teacher.  I  think  Ethelbert  will  have  to  learn  that  little 
piece,  "Let  Dogs  Delight  to  Bark  and  Bite,"  after  school  to- 
night. 

Gladys  (raises  hand).  You  asked  me  to  stop  in  and  see 
how  old  Miss  Smith  was. 

Teacher.  Yes,  that  was  thoughtful  for  you  to  remember  it. 
She  has  been  sick  a  long  time. 

Glad.  I  asked  her  how  old  she  was,  and  she  looked  real 
cross  and  said  it  was  none  of  my  business ;  and  then  I  said  you 
wanted  to  know,  and  she  said  to  tell  you  that  you'd  better  be 
in  better  business  than  prying  round  to  find  out  how  old  people 
was,  and  I  could  tell  you  that  you  wasn't  any  spring  chicken 
yourself. 

Teacher.  I'm  afraid  you  misunderstood  me,  Gladys.  I 
meant  how  she  was  feeling,  not  how  old  she  was.  Children, 
what  is  magnanimity  ? 

Mae.    We  don't  know  such  a  big  word,  teacher. 

Teacher.  Well,  what  is  it  if  a  big  boy  wanted  a  stick  of 
candy  very  much,  and  were  to  meet  a  small  boy  with  one,  in 
a  place  where  nobody  could  take  the  small  boy's  part? 

James  {waves  hand  excitedly).    Dat  would  be  a  cinch. 

Teacher.    What  do  you  mean  by  that,  James  ? 

James.  A  cinch?  Dead  easy.  The  big  boy  'ud  get  the 
candy  all  right. 

Carl  (raises  hand).    Sam  and  Dan  are  pinching  me. 

Teacher.  Boys,  stop  teasing  Carl.  Carl,  I  think  it  would 
sound  better  if  you  said  Samuel  and  Daniel,  instead  of  Sam 
and  Dan. 

Lion.    Please  may  I  sit  with  Jimuel  ? 
Teacher.    With  whom  ? 


JO 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Lion.  With  Jimuel.  You  said  to  call  Sam  Samuel  and 
Dan  Daniel,  so  I  s'pose  you  want  us  to  call  Jim  Jimuel,  don't 

you  ? 

Genevieve.  Hyacinth  Myrtle  doesn't  use  very  correct 
language.  She  told  me  this  morning  that  I  was  bug-house,  and 
I  told  her  it  would  sound  much  better  if  she  said  I  was  beetle- 
garage. 

{Boy  dodges  up,  takes  apple  from  desk  and  puts  it  in  pocket ; 
goes  back  to  seat  slyly.) 

Hyacinth.    Teacher,  Earl  stole  an  apple  off  you. 
Teacher.    Earl,  come  to  me.    Did  you  take  an  apple  from 
my  desk  ? 

Earl.    No'm,  I  ain't  never  seen  no  apple  on  your  desk. 

Teacher.  What  is  that  bunch  in  your  pocket  ?  Take  it 
out.  (Earl  slowly  takes  out  apple.")  Don't  you  know  what 
we  call  it  when  you  take  something  that  doesn't  belong  to  you 
— that  dreadful  word,  what  is  it? 

Earl.  Swiping. 

Teacher.  Now,  Hyacinth  was  a  good  little  girl.  She  saw 
that  apple  on  my  desk  but  she  didn't  take  it.  You  wouldn't 
take  an  apple  from  my  desk,  would  you,  Hyacinth  ? 

Hy.  No'm,  I  wouldn't,  'coz  I  knew  I'd  get  caught  if  I  did, 
and  it's  wrong  to  take  anything  if  you  get  caught. 

Teacher.  Perhaps  if  you  didn't  get  caught  your  conscience 
would  trouble  you.    Who  can  tell  me  what  conscience  is? 

Gwendolyn.  Conscience  is  what  you  have  after  you've 
been  eating  cake  and  jam  and  things  out  of  the  pantry  when 
your  mother  doesn't  know  it,  and  then  you  have  to  take  castor 
oil,  and  that  cures  the  conscience. 

Teacher.  We're  forgetting  our  acts  of  kindness.  Did  any 
of  the  little  girls  help  their  mamas  this  morning?  I'm  sure 
some  of  you  could  wash  the  dishes. 

Vi.    We  don't  have  to  wash  dishes  at  our  house. 

Teacher.    Why,  how  is  that  ? 

Vi.    My  mother  keeps  a  dog. 

Teacher.  If  you  are  to  grow  up  to  be  good  men  and 
women,  you  must  have  moral  courage.  Now  moral  courage  is 
what  makes  a  boy  or  girl  do  right  even  if  others  do  laugh  and 
make  fun. 

Duke.  Then  if  a  feller  has  chocolates,  and  eats  them  all 
himself,  and  ain't  afraid  of  the  other  fellers  calling  him  stingy, 


MISS  prim's  kindergarten* 


1 1 


he's  got  moral  courage,  ain't  he?  I've  got  lots  of  moral 
courage. 

Teacher.  No,  I'd  hardly  call  that  moral  courage ;  but  if 
you  have  the  real  moral  courage  and  work  hard,  you  can  be 
almost  anything  you  want  to  when  you  grow  up.  You  might 
even  be  president. 

Cec.  Say,  teacher,  you  don't  have  to  be  president,  do  you, 
if  you'd  rather  be  a  baseball  umpire? 

Teacher.  Why  would  you  rather  be  a  baseball  umpire  than 
president,  Cecil  ? 

Cec.    'Coz  what  the  baseball  umpire  says  always  goes. 

Teacher.    Reginald,  how  old  are  you,  now  ? 

Reg.    I'm  five. 

Teacher.    Well,  Reginald,  what  are  you  going  to  be  ?  Are 
you  going  to  be  president,  or  what  are  you  going  to  be  ? 
Reg.    Please,  teacher,  I'm  going  to  be  six. 

(James  raises  hand.) 

Teacher.    Well,  what  is  it,  James  ? 

James.    Didn't  you  say  if  I  was  good  I'd  go  to  heaven? 

Teacher.    Yes,  that  is  what  I  told  you. 

James.  Well,  pa  said  if  I  was  good  I'd  go  to  the  circus,  and 
I'd  just  like  to  know  who's  lying,  you  or  him. 

Teacher.  I'm  afraid  you  didn't  just  understand  our  mean- 
ing. I  hope  I  am  always  truthful,  and  I  trust  all  my  little  boys 
and  girls  are,  for  people  always  have  confidence  in  truthful 
persons.  (Al.  is  pulling  Mae's  hair.)  Alyce,  are  you  listen- 
ing to  what  I  am  saying?  What  is  it  we  can  always  have  con- 
fidence in,  Alyce? 

(Al.  stands,  confused,  twists  her  dress.) 

Al.    Safety  pins,  ma'am. 
Teacher.    What  is  a  lie,  children  ? 

Glad.  A  lie  is  a  bumble-bee  to  the  Lord  but  a  very  present 
help  in  time  of  trouble. 

Eth.    Julian  Ward  called  me  a  liar  this  morning. 

Teacher.  I'm  sorry  to  hear  Julian  would  say  such  a  thing. 
(Jul.  shakes  fist  at  Eth.)    What  did  you  say,  Ethelbert? 

Eth.  I  remembered  you  told  us  that  a  soft  answer  would 
turn  away  wrath. 

Teacher.  What  a  good  little  boy  !  I  am  glad  one  of  my 
children  remembers  what  is  told.  And  so  you  gave  him  a  soft 
answer,  Ethelbert? 


12 


MISS  prim's  kindergarten 


Eth.  Yessum,  I  plugged  him  with  rotten  tomatoes ;  guess 
they  were  soft  enough  for  him. 

Teacher.  What  would  happen  now  if  people  were  struck 
dead  for  lying,  as  they  were  in  ancient  times? 

Haz.  (waves  hand  wildly).  There  wouldn't  be  anybody 
left  to  bury  them. 

(Teacher  sees  Van  whispering!) 

Teacher.  Van  Dyke,  what  did  I  say  I'd  do  to  you  if  I 
saw  you  whispering  again  ? 

Van.  Why,  teacher,  that's  funny  that  you  should  forget, 
too.    I  can't  remember  what  it  was. 

Teacher.  I  haven't  forgotten — I  said  I  should  whip  you 
if  I  saw  you  whispering  again.  You  may  remain  after  school 
for  your  whipping. 

Van  (crying,  wipes  nose  on  coat  sleeve).  Teacher,  will  you 
do  me  one  favor  ? 

Teacher.  You  may  tell  me  what  it  is,  and  I  will  see 
about  it. 

Van.  After  you've  whipped  me,  please  don't  say  it  hurt 
you  more  than  it  did  me,  'coz  I  can't  bear  to  have  my  teacher 
tell  lies. 

Teacher.  Well,  I'll  try  to  hurt  you  more  than  myself. 
(Song,  "  Shaking  Hands,"  with  motions.)  Now  we  will  begin 
our  reading  lesson.  Let  us  play  we  are  going  to  take  a  walk  in 
the  fields  and  tell  what  we  see  there.  All  shut  eyes.  (  Children 
close  eyes  but  keep  peeking.)  Now,  we're  in  a  big,  big  field  and 
what  do  we  see,  children  ? 

Cho. 

Ants,  grasshoppers,  birds,  lambs,  etc. 

Teacher.    What  did  you  see,  Mae  ? 
Mae.    I  saw  a  grasshopper. 

Teacher.  Open  your  eyes,  children,  and  I  will  write  Mae's 
story  on  the  board.  (Writes  sentence.)  Hyacinth,  you  may 
read  the  story. 

Hy.  (reads  slowly,  pausing  between  each  word).  I — saw 
— a — hopper  grass. 

Teacher.  You  didn't  get  that  last  word  in  just  the  right 
order.    It  is  grasshopper. 

Hy.  Teacher,  I've  lost  a  front  tooth  and  I  guess  the  last 
word  leaked  out  before  its  turn. 


MISS  PRIM'S  KINDERGARTEN 


*3 


Teacher.  Now,  all  shut  eyes  again,  and  we'll  play  we're 
trying  to  catch  the  grasshopper. 

(All  make  ridiculous  motions  as  if  trying  to  catch  grass- 
hoppers.) 

Kat.    I  had  hold  of  his  hind  leg  but  he  got  away  from  me. 

Jul.   I — I — I — c-c-caughto-o-one          G-g-got  h-h-h-h-im 

by  t-t-t-he  w-w-wing. 

Teacher.    Tell  me  a  nice  story  about  it,  Julian. 

Jul.  (stamps  foot,  makes  faces  and  jumps  in  his  endeavors 
to  tell  story),  I — I — I— I — c-c-c-caught  a  g-gr-gr-grass-h-h- 
hopper.    There,  I — I — I've  s's'said  i-i-it. 

(Teacher  writes  sentence  on  the  board,') 

Teacher.    Gwendolyn,  you  may  read  the  sentence. 
Gwen.    I  captured  a  grasshopper. 

Teacher  (pointing  to  the  word  caught).  This  word  is 
caught. 

Gwen.    I  prefer  the  word  captured. 
Teacher.    Let  us  sing  our  alphabet  song. 

Song. 

"Sing  a  Song  of  Sixpence" 

Cho. 

Sing  a  song  of  letters 

Twenty-six  in  all, 
If  hard  we  do  study 

Their  names  we  can  call. 
When  the  letters  are  mastered 

Then  the  words  we  will  learn, 
Perseverance  in  our  work, 

A  sure  reward  will  earn. 


Teacher.    Who  can  tell  me  the  sound  the  snake  makes. 
Mar.    S-S.    (Makes  s  sound.) 

(Teacher  writes  S  on  board.) 

Teacher.  Did  you  ever  hear  a  little  mouse  squeal  when  it 
got  caught  ? 

Cho. 

I  did.    Yes,  etc. 


14 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Teacher.    What  did  it  say,  children  ? 

Cho.    E-e-e  —    {Making  it  a  squealing  sound.*) 

Teacher.  One  little  mouse  must  be  caught  and  squeal  for 
us.  Who'll  be  the  mouse  ?  {All  hands  eagerly  raised.) 
Earl,  you  may  be  the  mouse.  Who'll  be  the  cat  ?  (All  hands 
wildly  waved.)  Well,  Duke,  you  may  be  the  cat.  (Duke 
chases  Earl  around  platform,  finally  captures  him,  when 
Earl  squeals  lustily  and  continues  to  squeal  until  stopped  by 
Teacher.  Teacher  writes  the  letter  E  on  the  board. )  Class, 
tell  me  the  mouse  sound. 

Class.  E-E-E. 

Teacher.    Who  can  tell  me  the  sound  the  dove  makes. 
Class.  D-D-D. 

(Making  the  D  sound.) 

Teacher  {writes  S-E-E-D  on  board).  Who  can  read  this 
word? 

Vi.    Snake,  mouse,  mouse,  dove. 

(Teacher  calls  on  some  one  else  who  gives  it  correctly. 
Write  the  word  "  rat1'  on  board.) 

Teacher.  N  Alyce,  what  is  this  word? 
Al.  {very  promptly).  Rat. 

(Teacher  writes  the  word  "at") 

Teacher.    What  is  this  word,  Alyce  ? 
Al.  {hesitating).    It's  some  part  of  a  rat,  but  I  don't  know 
what  part. 

(Teacher  writes  "Mary  had  a  little  lamb") 

Teacher.  Julian,  you  may  read  the  sentence. 
Jul.    M-M-Mary  h-h-h-ad  a  1-1-little  1-1-1-lamb. 

(Teacher  writes.    "  Did  Mary  have  a  little  lamb  ?  ") 

Teacher.    Genevieve,  you  may  read  the  story. 
Gen.    {slowly  and  laboriously).    Did — Mary — have — a — 
little — lamb — buttonhook  ? 

Teacher.    Why  do  you  say  buttonhook,  Genevieve  ? 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


is 


Gen.  (triumphantly  pot  fits  to  the  question  mark),  Coz 
there's  the  buttonhook. 

(Teacher  writes,  "  What  a  pretty  lamb  /  ") 

Teacher.    Hyacinth,  read. 

Hy.    What — a — pretty — lamb — earring. 

Teacher.    Where's  the  earring  ? 

Hy.  (points  to  exclamation  point).  That's  just  the  kind 
my  grandmother  wears. 

(Teacher  writes,  "  Its  fleece  is  white  as  snow.*1) 

Teacher.    Read  this,  Kathryn. 

(Kath.  reads  it  correctly.) 

Carl  (raises  hand).    Teacher,  aren't  fleas  black? 
Teacher.    I  believe  so,  Carl. 

Carl.    Well,  you  just  said  its  fleas  are  white  as  snow  and 
I  never  saw  no  white  fleas. 
Teacher.    Mae,  spell  rabbit. 
Mae.  R-a-b-i-t. 

Teacher.    Do  you  spell  rabbit  with  one  B  or  two? 
Mae.    One,  when  it's  bunny. 

Teacher.    How  do  you  spell  bread,  Lionel  ?   I  like  bread 
and  butter.    How  do  you  spell  it  ? 
Lion.  B-r-e-d. 

Teacher.    My  dictionary  spells  it  with  an  A,  Lionel. 

Lion.  Please,  teacher,  you  didn't  ask  me  how  your  diction- 
ary spelled  it ;  you  asked  me  how  I  spelled  it. 

Teacher.  Reginald  is  an  idle  little  boy.  I  think  Reginald 
had  better  recite  the  little  piece  about  the  busy  bee. 

Reg.  (shuffles  to  his  feet,  looks  around  at  other  scholars 
and  grins.  Recites). 

How  doth  the  little  busy  bee 

Improve  each  shining  minute, 
A-hunting  for  a  tender  spot 
Then  runs  his  stinger  in  it. 

(Children  all  laugh.) 

Teacher.  Reginald,  you  may  remain  after  school  and  I 
will  improve  a  few  shining  minutes.    (Teacher  writes  the 


i6 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


word  dozen!)  Gladys,  put  this  word  in  a  sentence.  Tell  me 
what  the  word  is  first. 

Glad.  Dozen.  I  dozen  like  school.  (Teacher  writes, 
"The  pupil  loves  his  teacher.")  Van  Dyke,  what  is  this 
sentence  ? 

Van  {reads  in  a  disgusted  manner).  The  pupil  loves  his 
teacher.    That's  sarcasm,  that's  what  it  is. 

Teacher.  If  we  mean  one  we  say  hen,  if  we  mean  more 
than  one  we  say  what,  children  ? 

Cho.  Hens. 

Teacher.    Marianne,  spell  hens. 

Mar.  (sulkily).  'Tain't  no  use.  I  can't  never  learn  to 
spell.  You  keep  changing  words  on  me  all  the  time.  If  you'd 
ask  me  the  same  word  every  day  I  could  spell  it. 

Teacher.  We  say  one  child,  what  do  we  say  when  there 
is  more  than  one  ? 

Gen.  (excitedly).    Twins.    We've  got  some  at  our  house. 

Teacher.  Ethelbert,  let  me  see  how  nicely  you  can  write 
your  name  on  the  board.  (Eth.  slowly  writes  namey  working 
mouth  as  he  does  so.  Begins  near  the  bottom  and  writes  up- 
hill in  large  letters. )    Read  it,  Ethelbert. 

Eth.    Ethelbert  Salmon,  It. 

Teacher.  Why  do  you  write  It  after  your  name,  Ethel- 
bert? 

Eth.  Well,  when  my  papa  writes  his  name  he  always 
writes  Jr.  after  it.  I  don't  know  what  Jr.  is  for  but  I  know 
I'm  "it"  all  right,  so  I'm  going  to  write  it  after  my  name  so 
everybody  will  know  I  am. 

Teacher.    What  are  you  laughing  at,  James  ? 

James.  I  wasn't  laughing.  My  complexion  puckered, 
that's  all. 

Teacher.  Sometimes  in  place  of  using  a  person's  long 
name,  we  use  a  short  word  that  stands  for  it.  In  place  of 
saying  Mrs.  Solomon  Smith,  I  could  say  she ;  in  place  of  Mr. 
Solomon  Smith,  I  could  say  he.  Now,  who'll  tell  me  what  he, 
she  and  it  stand  for? 

Vi.  (waves  hand).    Husband,  wife  and  baby. 

Teacher  (shows  cube).    What  is  this,  children  ? 

Cho,  Cube. 

Teacher  (shows  sphere).    And  what  is  this  ? 
Cho.  Sphere. 

Teacher  (shows  prism).  Now  this  is  something  you 
haven't  had  before.    (Explains  the  prism  at  some  length.) 


miss  prim's  kindergarten7 


l7 


NTo\v  do  you  all  understand  what  a  prism  is  ?  Cecil,  you  may 
pat  it  in  a  sentence  for  me, 

Cec.  (with  alacrity).  Me  brudder  Chimmie  is  in  prism  for 
six  months. 

Teacher.  As  it  is  rainy  to-day  we  won't  go  out  for  recess, 
but  will  play  Lame  Fox  and  Chickens. 

(  One  child  is  chosen  to  be  tlie  lame  fox  and  the  others  are  all 
chickens.  The  chickens  all  go  to  one  side  of  the  stage,  the 
fox  to  the  other.  At  a  signal  from  the  Teacher,  the 
chickens  run  from  their  house  to  the  fox's  den  while  he, 
hopping  on  one  foot,  tries  to  tag  them.  The  fox  must  not 
rim ;  he  can  only  hop  and  change  from  one  foot  to  an- 
other.   Bell  rings.) 

Earl.  Teacher,  I  saw  something  yesterday  that  I'll  never, 
never,  never  see  again. 

Teacher.    What  wonderful  thing  was  it,  Earl  ? 
Earl.  Yesterday. 

(Puts  hand  over  mouth  and  giggles.) 

Teacher.    Are  you  eating  an  apple  in  school,  Julian  ? 
Jul.    Y-y-yes  m'm'ma'am. 

Teacher.  You  may  come  right  out  here  and  finish  it  be- 
fore the  whole  school.  (Jul.  finishes  the  one  he  is  eating,  also 
takes  several  from  his  pocket  and  eats,  slyly  offering  them  to 
the  others.)    Now  we'll  have  our  number  work. 

(Gives  children  colored  splints  and  calls  on  several  to 
count.) 

Kath.  I  can  count  up  to  five  on  my  fingers  (proudly), 
can't  I,  teacher? 

Teacher.  Yes,  Kathryn,  but  you  mustn't  boast.  I  know 
a  little  girl  no  older  than  you  who  can  count  up  to  fifty. 

Kath.  {thinks  a  second ).  Teacher,  where  does  she  get  all 
the  fingers? 

Teacher  (holds  up  three  splints  in  each  hand).  We  might 
call  them  triplets.    What  are  triplets  ? 

Glad.    Oh,  I  know,  its  twins  and  one  left  over. 

Teacher.  Suppose  a  man  buys  an  automobile  for  ten  hun- 
dred dollars.  Count  out  ten  splints,  children.  (Children  do 
so.)  He  sells  it  for  eleven  hundred  dollars.  Count  out 
eleven  splints,  children,    Now  tell  me  what  he  makes. 


i8 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Cec.    He  makes  a  vow  never  to  buy  another  one. 

Teacher  (with  two  half  apples  in  hand).  Duke,  supposing 
you  had  half  an  apple  and  I  should  give  you  another  half,  how 
much  would  you  have  then  ? 

Duke.    A  whole  apple. 

Teacher.  That's  right.  I  think  you  are  going  to  be  a  fine 
mathematician.  Now  if  you  had  half  a  dollar  and  I  should 
give  you  another  half,  what  would  you  have  ? 

Duke  (loud  and  prompt).    A  fit. 

(Teacher  writes  "4x2"  on  board.) 

Teacher.    Hyacinth,  what  does  this  X  stand  for  ? 
Hy.    I  think  it  means  "  Excuse  me." 
Teacher.    Julian  (who  is  still  eating  apples)  haven't  you 
finished  that  apple  yet  ? 

Jul.    Y-y-y-yes  m'm'm'ma'am. 

Teacher.    How  many  have  you  eaten,  Julian  ? 

Jul.  T-t-t-tw-twelve. 

Teacher.    Have  you  any  more  ? 

Jul.    Y-y-y-yes  m'm'm'ma'am. 

Teacher  (sternly).  Take  them  out  at  once.  (Jul.  takes 
out  apple  after  apple  from  pockets,  front  of  blouse y  etc.)  Is 
that  all  now  ? 

Jul.  Y-y-yesm'm'ma'am.  I — I — I  d-d-did  h-h-have  some 
m'more,  but  I  g-g-gave  t-t-them  to  t-t-the  o-o-other  k-k-k-kids. 

Teacher.  You  may  take  your  seat  now.  (Song,  "  Sew- 
ing on  a  Button. ' '  Children  should  all  have  cloth  and  needle  and 
act  very  clumsy.)  I  asked  you  yesterday  to  bring  a  specimen 
for  our  Nature  study.  Did  any  of  you  think  to  bring  any- 
thing ? 

Reg.  (holds  up  an  enormous  cockroach).  I've  brought  some- 
thing. It's  a  cockroach,  and  we've  got  lots  more  bigger' n  this 
in  our  kitchen.    I  kin  bring  some  every  day. 

Teacher.  I  think,  Reginald,  you  had  better  take  that  bug 
outdoors. 

Mae.    What  business  is  Mr.  Rice  in,  teacher  ? 

Teacher.    I  believe  he's  in  the  hardware  business. 

Mae.    He  sells  cockroaches,  doesn't  he  ? 

Teacher.    Of  course  not.    What  a  question  . 

Mae.  Well,  mama  read  me  the  sign  he  has  in  his  window 
when  we  were  going  by  the  other  day  and  it  said  :  "  We  sell 
everything  to  be  found  in  the  kitchen,"  and  we  can  find  lots  of 
cockroaches  in  our  kitchen  too,  bigger'n  that  one, 


miss  prim's  kindergarten  19 

Teacher.    Who  saw  some  little  birds  this  morning  ? 
Lion.    Oh,  teacher,  I  saw  a  little  bird  what  had  a  red- 
bosom  shirt  on. 

Teacher.  Lionel  must  mean  robin  redbreast.  Can  you 
recite  that  pretty  little  piece  about  the  robin,  Lionel  ? 

Lion,  {swings  from  side  to  side  and  sing-songs), 
"  The  north  wind  doth  blow, 
And  we  shall  have  snow, 
And  what  will  poor  Robin  do  then  ? 

Poor  thing ! 
He'll  sit  in  a  barn, 
And  keep  himself  warm, 
And  hide  his  head  under  his  wing, 
Poor  thing ! " 

Teacher.    Did  any  one  else  see  some  birds  ? 
Al.    I  saw  a  swallow. 

Teacher.    And  where  is  the  home  of  the  swallow,  Alyce  ? 
Al.    The  home  of  the  swallow  is  in  the  stomach. 
Teacher.    Why  do  you  say  the  home  of  the  swallow  is  in 
the  stomach,  Alyce  ? 

Al.  Coz  when  I  put  anything  in  my  mouth  I  chew  it  (chews), 
and  then  I  swallow  it,  and  the  swallow  goes  right  to  its  home  in 
the  stomach. 

Van.  I  saw  a  whole  lot  of  English  sparrows  this  morn- 
ing. 

Teacher.  I  must  tell  you  a  little  story  about  the  English 
sparrows.  The  worms  had  become  so  thick  that  they  were  des- 
troying all  the  farmers'  crops,  so  these  English  sparrows  were 
brought  here  to  destroy  the  worms ;  but  the  sparrows  are  driv- 
ing away  our  native  birds,  and  some  people  are  afraid  we 
shall  have  no  birds  left  except  these  sparrows.  Now,  Van 
Dyke,  which  do  you  think  is  worse — to  have  worms  or  spar- 
rows? 

Van  (hesitates).  I've  had  worms  but  I've  never  had 
sparrows  so  I  don't  know  which  is  worse,  but  worms  is  bad 
enough. 

Teacher.  What  kind  of  a  bird  did  Noah  send  out  of  the 
ark,  children? 

Haz.  (the  only  one  who  raises  hand).    A  dove. 
Teacher.    I'm  surprised  to  find  that  the  smallest  child  in 
the  class  is  the  only  one  that  knows. 


20 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Gen.  (excitedly  raises  hand).    She  oughter  know,  teacher, 

coz  her  father  keeps  a  bird  store. 

(Shakes  her  head for  u  yes 99  at  Haz.) 

Teacher.    What  bird  gives  us  eggs  to  eat  ? 
Cho.  Hens. 

Teacher.  Yes,  your  mother  couldn't  get  eggs  without  hens, 
could  she,  Carl  ? 

Carl.    'Course  she  could.    We  keep  ducks. 

Teacher.    What  else  did  any  one  see  on  the  way  to  school  ? 

Mar.  I  saw  some  cows  with  gold  thimbles  on  their  horns. 
Do  cows  sew  with  their  horns,  teacher  ? 

Teacher.  No,  Marianne,  those  weren't  thimbles.  Gwen- 
dolyn, what  are  you  reading? 

Gwen.  (very  precise).  I  am  reading  a  book  entitled, 
11  The  Education  of  the  Child,"  to  ascertain  if  I  am  being 
brought  up  correctly. 

James.    Where  does  the  cow  get  its  milk,  teacher  ? 

Teacher.    Where  do  you  get  your  tears,  James  ? 

James  (after  a  slight  pause).  Do  the  cows  have  to  be 
spanked  ? 

Vi.  I  saw  some  sea-cows  at  the  circus.  Are  they  the  kind 
that  give  watered  milk  ?- 

Teacher.  Alyce,  recite  that  beautiful  poem,  "  Thank  You, 
Pretty  Cow." 

Al.  (with  the  aid  of  much  prompting,  recites). 
"  Thank  you,  pretty  cow  that  made, 
Pleasant  milk  to  soak  my  bread, 
Every  day  and  every  night 
Warm  and  sweet  and  fresh  and  white. 

"  Do  not  chew  the  hemlock  rank, 
Growing  on  the  weedy  bank ; 
But  the  yellow  cowslips  eat, 
They  will  make  it  very  sweet. 

"  Where  the  bubbling  water  flows, 
Where  the  purple  violet  grows, 
Where  the  grass  is  fresh  and  fine, 
Pretty  cow,  go  there  and  dine." 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


11 


Mae  {holding  up  a  very  large  corkscrew) .  I  found  this  on 
my  way  to  school,  teacher. 

Teacher.    Do  you  know  what  it  is,  Mae  ? 

Mae.  Yessum,  I  think  it  is  a  nail  that  has  spinal  trouble 
awfully. 

Eth.  I  saw  a  tail  without  any  body  running  across  the 
street  yesterday. 

Teacher.  A  tail  without  any  body!  Oh,  you  mean  a 
snake. 

Kath.  My  mama  read  me  a  story  about  some  kind  of  a 
snake  that  has  lots  and  lots  of  legs. 

Teacher.    You  mean  a  centipede,  I  think. 

Kath.  Yes,  that's  what  she  called  the  thing  and  I  told  her  I 
was  awful  glad  I  wasn't  one  coz  it  would  be  horrid  to  have  to 
put  on  so  many  stockings  and  button  up  so  many  shoes  every 
morning. 

Jul.    I  s-s-saw  a  1-1-lots  of  d-d-dogs. 

Teacher.    Can  you  tell  me  what  kind  they  were  ? 

Jul.  T-t-they  w-w-weren't  k-k-k-kind  at  a-a-11.  T-t-they 
c-c-chased  m-m-me  and  t-t-tried  to  b-b-bite  me,  b-b-but  I 
c-c-climbed  up  a  t-t-t-tree  and  threw  s-s-stones  at  them  and 
d-d-d-drove  them  a-w-w-way. 

Teacher.  I  hope  you  are  all  kind  to  the  dumb  animals.  I 
have  seen  children  who  would  tie  cans  to  dogs  and  pull  poor 
pussy's  tail. 

Haz.    I  never  pull  my  pussy's  tail. 

Teacher.    I  am  glad  to  hear  that. 

Haz.  No'm,  I  never  pull  her  tail.  I  just  hold  it  tight  and 
she  pulls  away  and  pulls  her  tail  herself. 

Reg.  I  wouldn't  hurt  my  cat  either  but  last  night  pa  said 
there  wasn't  room  anywhere  in  our  flat  to  swing  a  cat  round  by 
its  tail  but  there  was  coz  I  tried  it  to  see  and  I  swung  our  old 
cat  round  in  every  room  by  its  tail,  but  I  wouldn't  hurt  a  cat 
fur  ennything. 

Teacher.  I  think  Hazel  and  Reginald  had  better  stand  out 
here  and  recite  "  I  Love  Little  Pussy." 

(Haz.  and  Reg.  come  out  slowly.  Haz.  with  finger  in 
mouthy  Reg.  pretending  not  to  care,  but  looking  ashamed. 
Haz.  begins  "I  love"  then,  finding  Reg.  hasn't  started, 
claps  hand  over  mouth.  Reg.  then  starts  alone  and  stops. 
After  several  trials  they  get  started,  one  saying  it  very 
quickly  the  other  slowly?) 


22  MISS  PRIM'S  KINDERGARTEN 

I  love  little  pussy, 

Her  coat  is  so  warm, 
And  if  I  don't  hurt  her, 

She'll  do  me  no  harm. 

So  I'll  not  pull  her  tail, 
Nor  drive  her  away, 
But  pussy  and  I 
Very  gently  will  play. 

She  will  sit  by  my  side 

And  I'll  give  her  some  food, 

And  she'll  love  me  because 
I  am  gentle  and  good. 

Teacher.  I  hope  Hazel  and  Reginald  will  remember  to 
practice  that  kindness. 

Glad.  I  went  to  walk  the  other  day  and  saw  a  lot  of  gum 
trees  and  I'm  going  there  to  pick  a  lot  of  gum  drops  off  them 
some  day. 

Teacher.  It  is  time  for  us  to  have  our  lunch.  Hyacinth 
and  Marianne  may  set  the  table  to-day.  (Song,  "  Laying  the 
Breakfast  Table"  The  two  who  are  setting  the  table  may 
sing,  or  all  if  desired.  A  small  table  will  do  as  it  is  not  nec- 
essary they  should  sit  around  it.)  Let  us  not  forget  our  table 
manners.    How  should  we  sit  at  the  table  ? 

School.  Still. 

(All  sit  up  very  straight  and  still.) 

Teacher.    Where  should  your  arms  not  be  ? 
School.    On  the  table. 

(One  boy  reaches  over  and  places  both  arms  on  table.) 

Teacher.    When  you  have  finished  eating,  where  should 
your  hands  rest  ? 
School.    Quietly  in  the  lap. 

Cec.    You're  going  too  fast,  teacher,  we  ain't  got  it  eat  yet. 

(All  eating.     One  child  has  a  mug  and  spoon  and  is  stirring 
with  left  hand.) 

Teacher.  Genevieve,  you  are  stirring  with  your  left  hand. 
You  should  always  stir  things  with  your  right  hand. 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


23 


Gen.  Please,  teacher,  I'd  rather  stir  with  my  spoon  than 
my  hand,  'coz  this  is  hot. 

Teacher.  We  must  not  be  selfish,  but  must  always  give 
the  best  part  to  others.  Earl,  did  you  give  the  best  part  of 
your  apple  to  your  little  brother  ? 

Earl  {promptly).  Yessum,  I  did.  I  gave  him  the  seeds  so 
he  can  plant  'em  and  have  a  whole  orchard  full  of  apples. 

Teacher.  I'm  afraid  you  are  a  little  selfish,  Earl.  Now, 
I  am  sure  Gwendolyn  will  divide  her  apple  in  the  Christian 
way. 

Gwen.  Please  inform  me  what  you  mean  by  the  Christian 
way. 

Teacher.  It  means  you  must  cut  the  apple  in  two  parts 
and  give  the  larger  and  better  part  to  Gladys. 

Gwen.  I  will  be  very  unselfish.  I  will  give  the  apple  to 
Gladys  and  let  her  divide  it  in  the  Christian  way. 

Teacher.  I  see  one  unselfish  child  here.  Duke  had  two 
apples  and  he  has  given  the  large  one  to  Van  Dyke  and  kept 
the  small  one  for  himself. 

Duke.  The  big  one  was  wormy  and  rotten,  that's  why  I 
gave  it  to  him.    Mine's  a  dandy. 

Van  {raises  hand').    I  had  some  soda  water  yesterday. 

Teacher.    Did  you  like  it  ? 

Van.    No,  it  tastes  like  your  foot's  asleep. 

(Vi.  is  busy  peeling  orange.) 

Teacher.    I  hope  Viola  will  give  Alyce  the  lion's  share  of 
her  orange. 
Vi.    Yes,  teacher,  I  will. 

{Eats  it  all  herself  while  Al.  watches  hungrily.    James  has 
peeled  apple,  carefully  eaten  the  apple ;  then  the  peelings.) 

Teacher.    Your  mother  wanted  you  to  peel  your  apple  al- 
ways before  you  ate  it,  didn't  she,  James  ? 
James.  Yessum. 

Teacher.    Did  you  think  to  do  so  ? 
James.  Yessum. 

Teacher.    Where  are  the  peelings,  what  did  you  do  with 
them? 
James.    Ate  'em. 


(Teacher  sees  Al.  crying.) 


24 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Teacher.    What  is  the  trouble,  Alyce  ? 

Al.  {sobbing).    Vilola  didn't  give  me  any  of  her  orange. 

Teacher.  Viola,  I  thought  you  were  going  to  give  Alyce 
the  lion's  share  of  your  orange. 

Vi.    Well,  that's  just  what  I  did.    Lions  don't  eat  oranges. 

Lion,  {eating  banana).  If  I  was  twins  would  my  mother 
give  me  two  bananas? 

Teacher.    I  presume  she  would,  Lionel. 

Lion.  Well,  don't  you  think  she's  pretty  mean  to  cheat  me 
out  of  that  other  banana  just  because  I'm  all  in  one  piece? 

Hy.  {raises  hand).  My  mother  told  me  to  go  over  to  the 
minister's  yesterday  morning  and  ask  him  to  have  supper  with 
us  and  have  it  over  with,  so  I  knocked  at  the  door  and  when 
he  come  I  said,  "  My  mama  wants  you  to  come  over  to  our 
house  to-night  to  supper  and  have  it  over  with,"  and  he  just 
laughed  and  said  I  could  go  home  and  tell  my  mother  it  was 
all  over  with,  and  when  I  told  her  she  just  spanked  me  and 
put  me  to  bed  and  I  didn't  know  why. 

Teacher.    Ethelbert,  what  are  you  crying  for  now  ? 

Eth.    'Cause  I  lost  a  penny. 

Teacher.    But  I  gave  you  another  one  for  it,  didn't  I  ? 
Eth.    Yes,  but  if  I  hadn't  lost  the  first  one,  I'd  have  two 
now. 

Teacher.  WThen  cake  is  passed  to  you  a  second  time  you 
must  say,  "  No,  thank  you,  I've  had  plenty."  Now  don't  for- 
get it.  Gwendolyn,  pass  the  cake  to  Carl  to  see  if  he  remem- 
bers what  to  say. 

(Gwen.  passes  plate  of  cake.) 

Carl.  Nope,  thanks,  I've  had  enough  and  don't  you 
forgit  it. 

{Grabs piece  of  cake.) 

Reg.  Teacher,  how  did  you  feel  when  you  were  in  the 
oven  ? 

Teacher.    In  the  oven  ?    I  never  was  in  the  oven. 
Reg.    When  you  called  at  our  house  the  other  day,  my 
mother  said  she  thought  you  were  about  half-baked. 

{Boy  slyly  draws  hideous  picture  on  board  and  prints  beside 
it,  "  Techert  this  is yu."  Song,  "  Clearing  the  Table." 
Teacher  discovers  picture  on  board,) 


MISS  prim's  kindergarten 


Teacher.    Cecil,  did  you  draw  this  ? 
Cec.    Naw,  I  kin  draw  a  good  deal  worser  picture  than 
that. 

Teacher.    You  remember  we  talked  the  other  day  about  a 
holiday  you  all  like. 
Cho.    Fourth  of  July. 

Teacher.    Why  do  we  celebrate  on  that  day  ? 

Earl.  Coz  our  pas  are  out  playing  ball  or  smashing  some 
record,  and  don't  have  time  to  watch  us  kids. 

Teacher.    When  was  the  first  Fourth  of  July  celebrated  ? 

Duke.  The  first  Fourth  of  July  they  ever  had  was  when 
some  feller  said  give  me  libberty  or  give  me  deth,  so  sumbuddy 
handed  him  a  toy  pistol  and  he  got  what  he  wanted  and  it 
wasn't  libberty  neither. 

Teacher.  How  does  celebrating  the  Fourth  help  our 
country  ? 

Van.  After  people  commenced  to  celebrate  the  Fourth  of 
July  it  commenct  to  pay  to  make  wooden  legs,  false  teeth 
and  glass  eyes  and  large  facktries  sprung  up  all  over  our  dear 
country. 

Teacher.  Which  do  you  like  better,  Marianne,  Fourth  of 
July  or  Christmas  ? 

Mar.  I  like  the  Fourth  better,  becoz  you  don't  have  to 
wait  so  long  for  daylight,  and  there's  no  school  the  next 
Monday. 

James.  My  father  says  when  he  was  a  boy  all  they  did  the 
Fourth  of  July  was  to  go  somewhere  and  hear  a  man  read  some 
long  piece  about  signing  somethin',  I  don't  see  why  he  wants 
to  be  a  boy  agin. 

Teacher.  Why  do  we  have  Fourth  of  July  in  the 
summer  ? 

Vi.  If  we  had  it  in  the  winter  the  fire  engines  might  get 
stuck  in  the  snow. 

Lion.  Once  a  family  what  came  from  England  lived  next 
to  us,  and  they  thought  it  was  awful  silly  to  have  Fourth  of 
July,  and  once  when  some  of  my  fireworks  lit  on  their  roof  and 
burned  a  big  hole  in  it,  they  were  hoppin'  mad  and  it  cost  my 
father  a  lot  of  money  to  make  peace  with  them. 

Teacher.  Who  can  tell  me  the  meaning  of  the  word 
M  peace." 

Al.    Peace  means  when  you  ain't  got  no  children. 
Teacher.    How  is  that  ? 

Al.    When  my  mother  has  washed  and  dressed  us  six  chil- 


26 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


dren  for  school  in  the  morning,  and  gets  us  all  started  off,  she 
says :    "  Now,  I'll  have  peace  for  awhile." 

Teacher.  Who  can  tell  me  who  our  first  president  was  ? 
(Jul.  waves  hand  wildly.  No  other  hands  raised.}  There, 
you  ought  all  to  be  ashamed  of  yourselves.  All  these  other 
boys  and  girls  have  been  coming  to  school  for  months,  and 
here's  little  Julian,  who  just  came  this  morning,  knows  more 
than  the  rest  of  you.  Just  look  at  him  holding  up  his  hand 
while  the  rest  of  you  hang  your  heads.  Julian,  you  are  a  smart 
boy  and  your  teacher  is  proud  of  you.  Now  speak  up  good 
and  loud  and  tell  us  who  our  first  president  was.  Speak  up 
loud  and  tell  the  others. 

Jul.    P-p-please  m-m-may  I  g-g-go  out  ? 

Teacher.    Don't  you  know  who  the  first  president  was  ? 

Jul.    N-n-no  m'm'ma'am.    P-p-p-lease  c-can  I  g-g-go  out  ? 

Teacher.  His  name  was  George  Washington,  and  he  was 
a  very  wise  man. 

Eth.  My  father  says  why  he  was  called  wise  was  becoz  he 
knew  enough  not  to  go  out  riding  Fourth  of  July  and  get  all 
smashed  up  with  fireworks. 

Carl.  I  know  a  boy  that  got  his  hand  blown  off  by  a  fire- 
cracker 'coz  he  thought  it  was  out,  and  he  went  to  pick  it  up, 
and  it  wasn't  out,  but  it  didn't  make  no  difference,  'cause  his 
father's  a  doctor  and  it  didn't  cost  them  anything. 

Reg.  I  don't  like  Fourth  of  July  'cause  you  have  to  wait 
till  dark  'fore  you  can  shoot  off  your  fireworks  and  then  your 
pa  and  ma  want  to  do  them  all. 

(Song,  "  The  Ostrich:1) 

Mae.    Teacher,  have  you  any  wax  ? 

Teacher.    No,  I  think  not,  why  do  you  wish  for  wax  ? 

Mae.  I  just  thought  if  I  could  get  some  wax,  I'd  waxinate 
my  little  sister  so  I  could  bring  her  to  school  with  me  to-mor- 
row. 

Teacher.  We  will  study  geography  a  little.  That  tells  us 
about  the  great  round  earth. 

Cec.    My  brother  says  jography  is  his  favorite  study. 

Teacher.  That's  nice.  Perhaps  it  will  be  yours,  too. 
Why  does  your  brother  like  it  so  well? 

Cec.  'Cause  the  jography  book  is  so  big  he  says  that  when 
you've  got  it  in  front  of  you  the  teacher  can't  see  you  and  you 
can  eat  candy  and  make  up  faces  and  have  a  bully  time.  I 
guess  I'll  like  jography  all  right. 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


*7 


Earl.    I  like  Latin  best. 

Teacher.    But  you  don't  study  Latin,    You  won't  study 
that  for  a  long,  long  time. 
Earl.    That's  why  I  like  it  best. 

(Teacher  draws  circle  on  board.) 

Teacher.  This  represents  the  earth.  {Draws  line 
through  centre.)  This  imaginary  line  through  the  centre  we 
call  the  equator.    Who  can  tell  me  what  the  equator  is  ? 

Kath.  A  crater  is  a  menagerie  lion  running  around  the 
middle  of  the  earth. 

Teacher.  I  didn't  quite  understand.  Please  repeat. 
(Kath.  says  the  same  again.  Teacher  draws  line  for  axis.) 
This  we  call  the  axis  of  the  earth.  The  earth  turns  on  its  axis 
once  in  twenty-four  hours,  giving  us  day  and  night.  It  goes 
around  the  sun  once  in  three  hundred  and  sixty-five  days. 
What  do  we  call  this  line  ? 

Haz.    The  axle. 

Teacher.  Sometimes  when  we  get  up  in  the  morning  we 
find  the  grass  all  wet  and  we  know  it  hasn't  been  raining. 
What  is  it  that  makes  the  grass  wet  ? 

Haz.    The  dew. 

Teacher.  That's  right,  Hazel,  now  can  you  tell  me  what 
makes  the  dew  ? 

Haz.  The  earth  turns  on  its  own  axle  three  thousand  and 
sixty-five  times  every  day,  and  it  whizzes  so  fast  through  the  air 
that  it  makes  its  sides  sweat  and  the  sweat  is  called  dew. 

Teacher.    What  shape  did  I  say  the  earth  was,  Duke  ? 

Duke.  Round. 
T  Teacher.    Now,  Duke,  your  father  was  a  sailor.     Would  it 
be  possible  for  him  to  start  now,  to-day,  sail  around  the  world 
and  get  back  to  this  same  spot  ? 

Duke.  No'm,  he  couldn't  start  to-day  'cause  he's  in  jail 
for  six  months. 

Glad.    Are  sailors  very  small  men,  teacher? 

Teacher.  No,  some  very  large  men  are  sailors.  Why  do 
you  ask  ? 

Glad.  My  mama  read  a  story  to  me  the  other  day  about  a 
sailor,  and  it  said  he  went  to  sleep  in  his  watch.  I  should 
think  he  must  be  pretty  small  if  he  could  get  into  his  watch  and 
sleep. 

Gen.  Teacher,  what  makes  it  rain  more  in  the  night  than 
in  the  day  ? 


28 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Teacher.  Two  clouds  coming  together  cause  the  moisture 
to  descend  in  the  shape  of  rain  and  

Gen.  Oh,  now,  I  see  why  there's  more  rain  in  the  night. 
The  clouds  can't  see  where  they  are  going  in  the  dark,  and 
bump  into  each  other,  and  then  they  leak  and  let  the  rain  run 
out  of  them. 

Teacher.  Here  is  a  picture  of  a  lot  of  water.  What  do 
we  call  it  ? 

School.    Waterfall — Niagara — etc. 

Gwen.    Doesn't  the  Lord  ever  turn  off  the  faucet  ? 

Teacher.  Who  ever  noticed  the  place  where  the  earth  and 
sky  seem  to  come  together  ? 

School.    I  have— I— yes,  I  have-— etc. 

Teacher.  We  call  that  the  horizon.  Who  can  tell  me 
what  the  horizon  is  for  ? 

Van.  I  guess  it  must  be  to  keep  the  sea  from  slopping  over 
into  the  sky. 

Teacher.  You  were  going  to  draw  some  maps  at  home  and 
bring  them  to  show  me.    How  many  did  so  ? 

(Several  show  scrawls  on  dirty  pieces  of paper.    James  shows 
a  very  good  one. ) 

Teacher.    Who  helped  you  draw  this,  James  ? 

James.    Nobody,  teacher,  nobody  helped  me. 

Teacher.  Come  now,  James,  tell  me  the  truth.  I  don't 
believe  you  did  this  all  yourself.  Didn't  your  brother  help 
you? 

James.    No,  ma'am,  he  didn't  help  me.    He  did  it  all. 

Teacher  {draws  isthmus).  This  narrow  strip  of  land  which 
joins  two  larger  bodies  of  land  is  called  an  isthmus.  Who  can 
tell  me  what  the  Isthmus  of  Panama  connects  ? 

Lion.  Pa  says  the  Isthmus  of  Panama  is  a  narrow  strip  of 
land  connecting  Central  America  with  the  United  States 
Treasury. 

Teacher  {draws  mountain).    What  is  this,  children  ? 
School.    Ant-hill,  ash-heap,  toboggan  slide,  etc. 
Teacher.    No,  this  is  a  mountain.    Define  a  mountain, 
Gladys. 

Glad.    A  mountain  is  land  extending  up  into  the  air. 

Teacher.  In  some  parts  of  the  earth  there  are  mountains 
called  volcanoes.    Viola,  can  you  tell  me  what  a  volcano  is  ? 

Vi.  Yessum.  A  volcano  is  a  mountain  what  spits  up  saliva 
and  drowns  folks. 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


29 


Teacher.  I  want  to  teach  you  the  different  directions  or 
points  of  the  compass  as  they  are  called.  North  is  in  front  of 
you.  All  point  north.  {Children  do  so.)  South  is  behind 
you.  All  point  south.  East  is  at  your  right  hand.  {Some 
point  to  right,  others  to  left.)  West  is  at  your  left  hand. 
Class,  point  to  the  west.  Now  Ethelbert,  you  come  out  here 
and  see  if  you  know  them.  Point  north.  (Eth.  does  s&.) 
South.  (Eth.  hesitates,  then  points  to  east.)  Point  south ; 
don't  you  know  what  is  behind  you?  (Eth.  begins  to  cry.) 
What  is  behind  you  ?    Tell  me  at  once. 

Eth.  {crying).  I  knew  it,  I  knew  it,  I  told  ma  you'd  see 
that  patch  in  the  seat  of  my  pants.  There's  a  patch  in  my 
pants  behind,  that's  what's  behind  if  I've  got  to  tell  the  whole 
school. 

Teacher.    Now,  we  will  have  our  Behavior  Game. 

{The  different  stanzas  are  assigned  to  different  ones. 
Time  should  be  allowed  between  each  stanza  to  have  quiet 
restored.) 

Behavior  Game. 

Song,  "  Oh,  have  you  seen  the  Muffin-man  ?  n 

This  is  our  little  behavior  game, 
Behavior  game,  behavior  game ; 
This  is  our  little  behavior  game 
To  show  how  polite  we  should  be. 

l(One  child  stands  in  centre  of  platform;  another  comes 
along  and  goes  behind  him.) 

In  front  of  any  we  ought  not  to  go, 
Ought  not  to  go,  ought  not  to  go  ; 
In  front  of  any  we  ought  not  to  go, 
For  that  is  a  rude  thing  to  do. 

(One  stands  in  centre  of  platform.  Another  comes  along 
and  passes  in  front.) 

But  sometimes  we  find  that  we  must  do  so, 
We  must  do  so,  we  must  do  so ; 
But  sometimes  we  find  that  we  must  do  so, 
Then  ;<  Excuse  me  "  forget  not  to  say. 

[Two  walk  across  platform.) 


jo 


MISS  prim's  kindergarten 


Look  at  the  way  we  walk  along, 
We  walk  along,  we  walk  along ; 
Look  at  the  way  we  walk  along, 
How  quietly  we  do  go. 

(Two  stand  facing  each  other  at  opposite  sides  of  platform. 
Walk  toward  each  other  and  bow  as  they  meet.) 

Just  bow  to  each  other  as  you  walk  by, 
As  you  walk  by,  as  you  walk  by ; 
Just  bow  to  each  other  as  you  walk  by, 
As  all  polite  folks  should  do. 

{Boy  and  girl  at  opposite  sides  of  platform.    They  walk  to- 
ward each  other,  the  boy  raising  his  hat  as  they  meet.) 

Careful  are  we  to  raise  our  hats, 
To  raise  our  hats,  to  raise  our  hats ; 
Careful  are  we  to  raise  our  hats, 
When  the  ladies  we  do  meet. 

(Girl  seated.    Boy  enters  quietly,  takes  off  cap,  shakes 
hands  with  girl.) 

Softly  always  we  open  the  door, 
Open  the  door,  open  the  door ; 
Softly  always  we  open  the  door, 
Quietly  enter  the  room. 

(Two  girls  and  a  boy  seated  in  front  of  platform.  Girl 
enters.    Boys  rises,  offers  girl  seat,  girl  bows.) 

When  seats  are  all  taken,  we  offer  our  own, 
Offer  our  own,  offer  our  own ; 
When  seats  are  all  taken  we  offer  our  own 
As  gentlemen  always  should  do. 

(A  girl  walks  across  platform.    Drops  handkerchief  Boy 
picks  up  and  hands  to  her.) 

We  haste  to  pick  up  a  thing  that  is  dropped, 
A  thing  that  is  dropped,  a  thing  that  is  dropped ; 
We  haste  to  pick  up  a  thing  that  is  dropped, 
Our  kindness  for  others  to  show. 

(Two  in  front.    One  gives  other  an  apple.) 


miss  prim's  kindergarten  31 

If  anything  ever  is  given  to  us, 
Given  to  us,  given  to  us ; 
If  anything  ever  is  given  to  us, 
I  thank  you,  we'll  quickly  say. 

(Two  in  front.    One  has  something.    Other  reaches  out 
hand  for  it.} 

If  there's  something  we  very  much  want, 
Very  much  want,  very  much  want ; 
If  there's  something  we  very  much  want, 
Then  "  Please  "  we  first  will  say. 

(Exaggerate  every  motion,  making  it  as  ridiculous  as 
possible.} 

Teacher.    We  all  have  a  beautiful  body  given  to  us.  We 

have  eyes  to  

School.  See. 

Teacher.    We  have  ears  to  

School.  Hear. 

Teacher.    We  have  a  nose  to  

School.  Wipe. 

Teacher.    Why  is  our  nose  in  the  middle  of  our  face. 
Al.    'Cause  it's  the  {snuffs)  scenter. 
Teacher.    We  have  a  tongue  to  what,  Mae  ? 
Mae.    To  talk  with. 

Teacher.  You  may  put  out  your  tongue,  Mae.  (Mae 
puts  out  just  the  tip  of  tongue.}  No,  no,  put  it  right  out,  all 
out. 

Mae.    Please,  teacher,  I  can't,  it's  fastened  onto  me. 
Teacher.    What  are  your  teeth  for  ? 
School.    To  bite  with. 

Teacher.    What  care  should  we  take  of  our  teeth  ? 

Jul.  W-w-we  s-s-should  n-n-never  p-p-pick  them  w-w-with 
a  p-p-pin  or  s-s-scrape  them  w-w-with  a  n-n-nail. 

Carl.  I've  got  the  toothache  and  I'm  going  to  have  it 
yanked  out  after  school  and  I'm  going  to  take  the  mean,  old 
thing  home  and  stuff  it  full  of  sugar  and  watch  it  ache  and 
just  make  fun  of  it. 

Teacher.  What  are  our  feet  for  ?  What  force  moves  us 
along  ? 

Reg.    The  police  force. 

Teacher.  Each  one  of  you  has  a  soul.  Did  you  know 
that  you  had  a  soul,  Kathryn  ? 


3a 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


Kath.  {putting  hand  over  heart).  'Course  I  did.  I  can 
hear  it  tick. 

Teacher.    All  over  our  bodies  are  little  openings,  called 
pores.    What  do  you  think  those  can  be  for  ? 
Haz.    They  are  the  things  we  catch  cold  with. 
Teacher.    What  do  we  use  our  lungs  for? 
School.    To  breathe  with. 

Hy.  Teacher,  can  people  leave  parts  of  themselves  in  dif- 
ferent places? 

Teacher.    No,  indeed,  Hyacinth. 

Hy.  Well,  I  heard  some  say  Mr.  Brown  was  going  to 
Colorado  for  his  lungs,  so  I  thought  perhaps  he'd  left  them 
there  some  time  and  was  going  after  them. 

Teacher.  This  wonderful  body  of  ours  can  adapt  itself  to 
so  many  changed  conditions. 

Cec.  You  bet  it  can.  Why,  my  uncle  gained  a  hundred 
pounds  in  just  a  little  while,  got  fat  as  a  pig  and  his  skin  didn't 
crack  a  bit  either. 

Teacher.    How' many  bones  in  the  human  body  ? 

Gwen.  There  used  to  be  two  hundred  and  eight.  Now 
there  are  two  hundred  and  eight  and  the  appendix. 

Teacher.    What  is  the  use  of  the  appendix  ? 

Gen.  The  principal  use  of  the  appendix  is  so  doctors  and 
surgeons  can  make  heaps  of  money  cutting  it  out. 

Earl.  Railroad  men  don't  usually  have  any  where  near 
two  hundred  and  eight  bones  'cause  they've  lost  so  many  arms 
and  feet. 

Duke.  I've  got  more  bones  than  that  'coz  we  had  herring 
for  supper  last  night  and  I  swallowed  a  lot  of  bones. 

Teacher.    What  is  a  skeleton,  Marianne  ? 

Mar.    A  skeleton  is  a  man  without  any  meat  on  him. 

Vi.    Teacher,  I've  got  two  headaches. 

Teacher.    Two  headaches  !    How  can  that  be  ? 

Vi.    Well,  I've  got  a  headache  over  each  eye. 

Teacher.    What  is  the  backbone,  Alyce  ? 

Al.  The  backbone  is  something  that  holds  up  the  head  and 
ribs  and  keeps  us  from  having  legs  clear  to  our  neck. 

Teacher.  Our  bodies  are  full  of  little  nerves.  What  are 
they  for,  Van  Dyke  ? 

Van.  To  carry  messages  to  your  brain.  If  you  put  your 
finger  on  a  hot  stove,  the  nerves  of  your  arm  get  busy  and  send 
the  telegram  to  your  brain  and  your  brain  says,  "Take  your 
fingers  off  that  stove  quick." 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


33 


James.  The  other  day  I  had  my  fingers  in  some  jam  in  the 
pantry,  and  my  nerves  sent  a  message  to  my  brain  that  my 
mother  was  coming  and  I'd  better  get  my  fingers  out  quick, 
but  I  didn't  move  quick  enough,  and  ma  caught  me,  so  the 
nerves  running  from  my  spine  to  my  brain  had  to  work  over- 
time for  a  while. 

Teacher.  When  we  get  old  our  brain  will  not  work  as 
well  as  it  does  now.    We  are  apt  to  forget  things. 

Mae.  My  grandfather  is  old  and  his  doesn't  work  very 
well  now.  He  walks  around,  thinking  about  nothing,  and 
when  he  remembers  it,  then  he  forgets  that  what  he  thought  of 
was  something  different  from  what  he  wanted  to  remember. 

Kath.  {hand  raised).  Our  Sunday-school  teacher  was 
talking  about  false  doctrine  last  week  and  I'd  just  like  to  know 
what  she  meant. 

Teacher.    Can  any  one  tell  Kathryn  what  false  doctrine  is  ? 

Lion.  It's  when  the  doctor  gives  you  stuff  for  scarlet  fever 
when  you've  just  got  the  stomachache  from  eating  green 
apples. 

Teacher.    Did  any  of  you  ever  see  a  kangaroo  ? 

Eth.  I  did.  I  saw  one  at  the  circus  and  it  had  a  great  big 
bag  in  its  stomach. 

Teacher.  We  call  it  a  pouch.  Do  you  know  what  it  is 
for,  Ethelbert  ? 

Eth.  Yessum,  when  it  is  chased  it  can  crawl  into  it  and 
hide  itself. 

Haz.  (raises  hand).  Please  tell  me  what  part  of  an  animal 
a  chop  is. 

Teacher.  Who'll  tell  Hazel  what  part  of  an  animal  a 
chop  is? 

Glad.    It's  the  jawbone. 
Teacher.    Why  do  you  think  that  ? 

Glad.  Didn't  you  ever  hear  of  an  animal  licking  its 
chops  ? 

Teacher  (to  boy  who  is  making  another  eat  something). 
What  are  you  doing,  Carl  ? 

Carl.    I'm  making  Julian  eat  a  yeast  cake. 

Teacher.  Why  on  earth  are  you  making  him  eat  a  yeast 
cake  ? 

Carl.    He  swallowed  my  ten  cent  piece  and  I'm  feeding 
him  a  yeast  cake  to  try  to  raise  the  dough. 
Teacher.    "  Early  to  bed  and  early  to  rise  "  is  a  good  rule 


34 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


for  little  folks  to  follow.  You  should  all  go  to  bed  with  the  sun 
like  the  chickens. 

Hv.    But  the  old  hen  goes  to  bed  with  the  chickens. 

Teacher.  You  should  not  go  to  bed  on  an  empty  stomach 
for  you  can't  sleep  well. 

Reg.  Mamma  sent  me  to  bed  without  my  supper  the  other 
night,  and  I  told  her  I  couldn't  sleep  on  an  empty  stomach. 

Teacher.    Did  she  give  you  some  supper  then  ? 

Reg.  Nope,  she  told  me  to  turn  over  on  my  back  and  sleep 
on  that,  if  I  couldn't  sleep  on  my  empty  stomach. 

Teacher.  I'm  afraid  you  were  a  naughty  boy.  If  you 
were  to  turn  and  look  yourself  squarely  in  the  face,  what  do  you 
think  you'd  really  need  most  ? 

Reg.    I  should  think  I'd  need  a  rubber-neck. 

Teacher.  What  happens  to  our  bodies  if  we  do  not  keep 
them  clean  ? 

Jul.    I  g-g-g-get  a  1-1-1-licking. 

Teacher.    What  is  an  organ  of  the  body  ? 

Mar.  An  organ  is  a  piano  of  the  body  what  has  some  work 
to  do. 

Teacher.  We  have  talked  a  long  time  about  our  bodies. 
Now,  I  want  some  one  to  tell  me  just  what  is  in  them,  no 
matter  about  other  little  boys  and  girls,  just  tell  what  is  in  you. 
Cecil,  you  may  tell  me. 

Cec  I  ain't  going  to  tell  what  any  other  boy  has  inside  of 
him,  'cause  I  ain't  no  tell-tale,  but  I'll  tell  you  what  I've  got 
inside  of  me  if  you  won't  blow  to  my  mother.  I've  got  inside 
of  me  a  hart,  liver,  lights  and  a  stomick,  and  the  stomick's  got 
inside  of  it  two  doughnuts,  one  mince  pie,  half  a  cake,  seven 
tarts,  six  cornballs,  some  candy  and  a  whole  lot  of  jam.  I 
think  that's  all  that  is  inside  of  me. 

Teacher.  That  finishes  our  lessons  for  to-day,  and  as  we 
have  a  few  minutes  more  before  time  to  go  home,  perhaps  some 
of  you  would  like  to  recite  some  of  your  memory  gems. 

Earl.    I  know  a  nice  piece,  teacher. 

Teacher.    That's  good.    Come  right  out  here  and  speak  it. 

(Earl  winks  slyly  to  other  boys.) 

Earl. 

Little  drops  of  water, 

Little  grains  of  dust, 
Make  my  mean  old  teacher 

Cross  enough  to  bust. 


miss  prim's  kindergarten 


35 


And  my  little  mischiefs 
Harmless  though  they  be 

Make  her  very  angry 
Hopping  mad  gets  she 

So  our  — — 


Teacher,  I  think  that  is  quite  enough  of  such  classical 
poetry.    You  may  take  your  seat,  Earl. 

Duke.  I  can  sing  a  song,  teacher.  I  can  sing  c*  The  Careless 
Boy." 

(Sings,  putting  in  motions.) 

Gen.    I  know  a  piece,  teacher. 

(Speaks,  lisping.) 

**  You'd  scarce  expect  one  of  my  age, 
To  speak  in  public  on  the  stage 
And  make  a  bow,  and  shout  and  squall, 
Like  one  who  wears  a  waterfall. 
You  know  I'm  very  smail  and  young, 
And  cannot  talk  with  oily  tongue, 
Indeed,  I  now  am  frightened  so, 
I'd  like  to  make  my  bow  and  go. 
But  while  I'm  here  I'll  say  to  you, 
That  I  do  know  a  thing  or  two. 
I've  learned  to  read  and  write  and  spell 
And  wash  the  dishes,  too,  quite  well. 
I  always  mind  my  p's  and  q's 
And  wear  substantial  leather  shoes. 
And  now,  dear  friends,  I've  said  my  say, 
So  now  I'll  bow  and  go  away." 

(Quick  jerk  of  head  for  bow.) 

Van.  I  know  an  awful  long,  hard  piece.  It's  awful  hard, 
but  I  can  say  it  all.  My  mother  says  I  have  a  wonderful 
memory. 

Teacher.    We'll  be  glad  to  hear  that  wonderful  piece. 
Van.  (starts  off  boldly  and  confidently). 

When  Greece  her  knees — (hesitates  and  starts  again), 

When  Greece  her  knees—  (longer pause), 

When  Greece  her  knees — (thinks  deeply), 

When  Greece  her  knees  


36 


MISS  prim's  kindergarten 


Teacher.  I'm  afraid.  Van  Dyke,  you'll  have  to  grease  her 
knees  some  more  before  she'll  go. 

Jul.    I — c-c-can  s-s-speak  a — p-p-piece. 

{Speaks,  "  Twinkle,  Twinkle,  Little  Star.**) 

Teacher.  Won't  you  speak  the  little  piece  about  the  doll, 
Gwendolyn  ?  (Gwen.  ,  with  doll  in  arms,  recites,  1 '  /  Once  Had 
a  Dear  Little  Doll,"  by  Chas.  Kings  ley.)  One  more  song, 
then  you  may  be  dismissed.  {Song,  "Little  Mowers.*1) 
Good-bye,  children. 

School.    Good-bye,  teacher. 

(  Children  pass  out  to  get  wraps,  some  return  to  have  coats 
held  or  buttoned,  rubbers  put  on,  etc.) 


New  Plays 


PLAIN  PEOPLE 

A  Comedy  Drama  in  Four  Acts 

By  Dana  J.  Stevens 
Five  males,  five  females.  Costumes,  modern ;  scenery,  two  interiors. 
Plays  a  full  evening.  A  strong  and  human  piece  full  of  humorous  char- 
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CHARACTERS 

Ezra  Bromley,  storekeeper. 
Almira  Bromley,  housewife, 
Martin  Jasper  Bromley,  college  man, 
Liza  Liz  Hankins,  brat. 
Judge  Jotham  Marley,  Christian. 
Melissy  \V atkins,  elderly  maiden, 
Jonas  J arrock,  fanner. 
Belindy  Jarrock,  seamstress, 
Hiram  Curtis  Peck,  seller, 
April  Blossom,  help. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act  I. — Sitting-room  behind  Ezra  Bromley's  store.  Morning. 

Act  II. — The  same.    Some  days  later. 

Act  III. — At  the  Jarrocks'.    Some  weeks  later. 

Act  IV.— At  the  Bromley s*.    Later  in  the  evening. 


FOOLING  FATHER 

A  Comedy  in  One  Act 
By  R.  M.  Robinson 
•  Three  males.  Costumes,  modern ;  scene,  an  interior.  Plays  thirty 
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AT  THE  JUNCTION 

A  Farce  in  One  Act 

By  Charles  S.  Bird. 
Three  males,  two  females.  Costumes,  modern ;  scene,  an  easy  interior. 
Plays  thirty  minutes.  A  bright  and  vivacious  little  farce  for  two  young 
couples  and  a  comic  station  agent,  very  easy  and  effective.  All  the  parts 
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New  Plays 

*amm-. — [  imuhwmimi,..  -    ,.  .   ...   i.i        ■  ■■■    ■   ,■   .  ,'  a  -  ,  ,     a      ,,  B  I  I     m   in         -  ,=3fc 

OUR  WIVES 
A  Farce  in  Three  Acts 
By  Anthony  E.  Wills 

Seven  males,  four  females.  Costumes,  modern ;  scenery,  two  interiors. 
Plays  two  hours  and  a  half.  A  bustling,  up-to-date  farce  that  deserves  the 
rather  worn  description  of  "  side-splitting."  Full  of  movement  and  action ; 
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Price,  23  cents 

CHARACTERS 

Roswell  Chandler,  a  retired  merchant.    (Old  Man.) 

Walter  Blair,  his  son-in-law.    (Comedy  Lead.) 

Oscar  Sieeel,  a  composer.  (German.) 

Lloyd  Deveaux,  a  chronic  invalid.    (Character  Old  Man.) 

John  Stanton,  a  detective.  (Comedy.) 

Mallory ',  a  reporter.  (Comedy.) 

Ford,  an  expressman.    (Utility. ) 

Gilda  Deveaux,  wife  of  Deveaux.  (Lead.) 

Mrs.  Chandler,  wife  of  Roswell.    (Old  Lady.) 

Beattie  Blair,  wife  of  Walter.    (Straight. ) 

Julia,  a  French  ?naid.  (French.) 

THE  PACKING  OF  THE  HOME  MIS- 
SIONARY BARREL 

An  Entertainment  in  One  Scene 
By  Mrs.  Henry  A.  Hallock 
Ten  females.  Costumes,  modern ;  scenery  unimportant.  Plays  thirty 
minutes.  One  of  those  little  satires  of  feminine  ways  that  are  so  popular 
even  with  the  ladies ;  very  shrewd  and  effective,  but  perfectly  good-na- 
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Price,  13  cents 

THE  BARGAIN  COUNTER 

A  Farce  in  Three  Scenes 

By  Grace  Moody 
Five  females.     Costumes,  modern ;  scene,  an  interior.    Plays  thirty 
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Price,  is  cents 


ENGAGED  BY  WEDNESDAY 

A  Farce  in  Three  Acts 
By  Grace  Arlington  Owen 
Five  males,  eleven  females.  Costumes,  modern ;  scenery  of  little  im- 
portance. Plays  an  hour  and  a  half.  Arthur  Watson  and  Lucile  Persons, 
long  destined  for  one  another  by  their  respective  mammas,  are  suddenly 
told,  after  a  separation  of  seven  years,  that  they  are  to  get  engaged  at  once. 
Neither  likes  the  idea,  and  being  personally  unknown  to  one  another,  each 
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result  is  bewilderingly  funny.  Very  easy,  funny  and  effective.  Strongly 
recommended  for  schools. 

Price,  25  cents 

CHARACTERS 

Martin  Henry,  the  laziest  man  in  the  county* 
Arthur  Watson. 
Jack,  ] 

Ted,    \  friends  of  Arthur  s. 
Dick,  j 

Miss  Abigail  Persons,  a  woman  of  ideas, 
Mrs.  Watson,  a  gentle  person. 
Lucile  Persons, 
Marie,  ] 

Jane,     >  friends  of  Lucile, 
Mabel,  J 

Mary,  Martin  Henry  s  aunt;  cook  at  the  Persons** 
First  Girl. 
Second  Girl. 
First  Gypsy. 
Second  Gypsy. 

THE  TEMPLETON  TEAPOT 

A  Farce  in  One  Act 

By  Grace  Cooke  Strong 
Four  males,  four  females.  Costumes,  modern ;  scenery,  an  interior. 
Plays  thirty  minutes.  The  Templeton  Teapot,  a  priceless  antique,  gets 
tangled  up  with  a  modern  love-affair  and  has  some  strange  adventures  in 
consequence,  getting  the  hero  arrested  as  a  burglar  and  every  one  else 
sadly  mixed  up.  Bright,  brisk  and  entertaining.  Recommended  for 
schools.  iPrice,  /J  cents 

THE  TURN  IN  THE  ROAD 

A  Comedy  in  Two  Acts 
By  Gladys  Ruth  Bridgham 
Fourteen  males.    Costumes,  modern ;  scenery,  a  single  interior.  Plays 
half  an  hour.    Hiram  Skinner's  cow  gets  mixed  up  with  some  Colton 
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best  man  there.    Sympathetic  and  interesting.    A  good  high  school  play. 
Price,  1  j  cents 


Novelties 


THE  VILLAGE  POST-OFFICE 

An  Entertainment  in  One  Scene 

By  Jessie  A,  Kel/ey 
Twenty-two  males  and  twenty  females  are  called  for,  but  one  person 
may  take  several  parts  and  some  characters  may  be  omitted.  The  stage 
is  arranged  as  a  country  store  and  post-office  in  one.  Costumes  are  rural 
and  funny.  Plays  a  full  evening.  A  side-splitting  novelty,  full  of  "  good 
lines  "  and  comical  incident  and  character.  One  continuous  laugh  from 
beginning  to  end.  Strongly  recommended  for  church  entertainments  or 
general  use  ;  very  wholesome  and  clean. 

Pricey  2$  cents 

MISS  PRIM'S  KINDERGARTEN 

An  Entertainment  in  One  Scene 
By  Jessie  A.  Kelley 
Ten  males,  eleven  females.    No  scenery  or  curtain  needed ;  costumes 
introduce  grown  people  dressed  as  children.    Plays  an  hour  and  a  half. 
A  modern,  up-to-date  version  of  the  popular  "  District  School,"  full  of 
laughs  and  a  sure  hit  with  the  audience.    All  the  parts  very  easy  except 
the  Teacher's,  and  as  it  is  possible  for  her  to  use  a  book,  the  entertainment 
can  be  got  up  with  exceptional  ease  and  quickness.  Can  be  recommended. 
Price,  25  cents 

THE  VISIT  OF  OBADIAH 

A  Farce  in  Two  Acts 

By  Eunice  Fuller  and  Margaret  C.  Lyon 
Thirteen  females.  Costumes  modern ;  scene,  an  easy  interior,  the  same 
for  both  acts.  Plays  an  hour.  A  clever  and  original  play,  suited  for 
school  or  college  performance.  Full  of  incident  and  offers  a  great  variety 
of  character  and  great  opportunity  for  pretty  dressing.  Irish  and  negro 
comedy  parts.  Price,  25  cents 

A  PAN  OF  FUDGE 

A  Comedy  in  One  Act 

By  Maude  B.  Simes 
Six  females.  Costumes,  modern  ;  scene,  an  easy  interior.  Plays  twenty- 
five  minutes.    A  bright  little  boarding-school  sketch,  at  once  amusing  and 
sympathetic  ;  tone  high  and  quality  good.    Confidently  recommended  to 
young  ladies  as  an  effective  piece  easy  to  get  up. 

Price,  15  cents 
Sent,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  price,  by 

BAKER,  5  Hamilton  Place,  Boston,  Mass. 


JL  UJ»  Pinero's  Plays 

Price,  50  gents  €acb 


MTU  fHANWFI  Pla^  in  F<mr  Aets-  Six  males,  five  females. 
lTlliy-V^Iiril^li^ljLi    Costumes,  modern;  scenery,  three  interiors. 

Plays  two  and.  a  half  hours. 

THE  NOTORIOUS  MRS.  EBBSMITH  SiRj 

males,  five  females.  Costumes,  modern;  scenery,  ail  interiors. 
Plays  a  full  evening. 

THF  PROFIT  ATF  Play  in  Four  Acts.  Seven  males,  five 
I  ilLi  I  l\\Jk  LIU/i  i  Li  females.  Scenery,  three  interiors,  rather 
elaborate  ;  costumes,  modern.   Plays  a  full,  evening. 

THF  QPHflOT  MIQTRFQQ  Farce  in  Three  Acts.  Nine  males, 
lUEi  3^m/UL.LTl£dlftE.L>>J  seven  females.  Costumes,  mod- 
ern; scenery,  three  interiors.   Plays  a  full  evening. 

THE  SECOND  MRS.  TANQUERAY  ^ISZXi 

females.  Costumes,  modern;  scenery,  three  interiors.  Plays  a 
full  evening. 

CWFFT  I  AVFNHFP  Comedv in  Three  Acts.  Seven  males, 
O  TT  LiLt  1  four  females.  Scene,  a  single  interior, 

costumes,  modern.   Plays  a  full  evening. 

THF  THTTMnFDRfll  T  Comedy  in  Four  Acts.  Ten  males, 
lllLi  1  llU11i/£<I\DULi  1  nine  females.  Scenery,  three  interi- 
ors; costumes,  modern.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

THF  TTMF^   Comedy  in  Four  Acts.    Six  males,  seven  females. 

HlMErtJ   Scene. a  single  interior;  costumes, modern.  Plays 
a  full  evening. 

THF  WFAlfFP  QFY  Comedy  in  Three  Acts.  Eight  males, 
IHEi  TV  £i/\I\.£iIV  OLA  eight  females.  Costumes,  modern; 
scenery,  two  interiors.   Plays  a  full  evening. 

A  WIFE  WITHOUT  A  SMILE  SSKMSSftSfi: 

Costumes,  modern ;  scene,  a  single  interior.   Plays  a  full  evening. 

Sent  prepaid  on  receipt  of  price  by 

Walter  &  pafeer  &  Company 

No.  5  Hamilton  Place,  Boston,  Massachusetts 


DUKE  UNIVERSITY  LIBRARIES 


*D002  1  8 1  1  9M* 


decent  popular  Paps 


TBF  AWAKFNINfi  £lay  in  1Four.  Afts-      °-  H-  chambers. 

iUJU  t\  v  /inuunu  lour  males,  six  females.  Scenery,  not  diffi- 
cult, chiefly  interiors;  costumes,  modern.  Plays  a  full  evening. 
Price,  50  Cents. 

THE  FRUITS  OF  ENLIGHTENMENT 

'  one  males,  eleven  females.  Scenery,  characteristic  interiors ;  cos- 
tumes, modern.  Plays  a  full  evening.  Recommended  for  reading 
clubs.    Price,  25  Cents. 

HIS  EXCELLENCY  THE  GOVERNOR  I^&EH^tS 

males,  three  females.  Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  one  interior. 
Acting  rights  reserved.    Time,  a  full  evening.    Price,  50  Cents. 

MIFlPAf  HINRANH  Comedy  iii  Four  Acts.  By  Oscar  Wilde. 
llfijAlj  IIUJUAL^V  Nine  males,  six  females.  Costumes,  mod- 
ern; scenery,  three  interiors-.  Plays  a  full  evening.  Acting  rights 
reserved.    Sold  for  reading.   Price,  50  Cents. 

THE  IMPORTANCE  OF  BEING  EARNEST  If™  iny  Sg: 

Wilde.  Five  males,  four  females.  Costumes,  modern ;  scenes,  two 
interiors  and  an  exterior.  Plays  a  full  evening.  Acting  rights  re- 
served.   Price,  50  Cents. 

LADY  WINDERMERE'S  FAN  M^StM^ 

males.  Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  three  interiors.  Plays  a  full 
evening.  Acting  rights  reserved.    Price,  50  Cents. 

NATHAN  HA1P  Play  in  Pour  Acts.  By  Clyde  Pitch.  Fifteen 
11  Al  ilAn  UALiLi  males,  four  females.  (  Costumes  of  the  eighteenth, 
century  in  America.  Scenery,  four  interiors  and  two  exteriors.  Act- 
ing rights  reserved.   Plays  a  full  evening.   Price,  50  Cents. 

THP  ftTHPR  PPHAW  Comedy  in  Three  Acts.  By  M.  B.  Horne. 
llllw  V111LR  I LI4L4V  TT  six  males,  four  females.  Scenery,  two 
interiors ;  costumes,  modern.  Professional  stage  rights  reserved. 
Plays  a  full  evening.   Price,  50  Cents. 

m TYRANNY  ftF  TFA1N  Come<iy  in  Four  Acts.  By  C.  H. 
llttAmil  Vr  lEAIw  Chambers.  Pour  males,  three  fe- 
males. Scenery,  an  interior  and  an  exterior;  costumes,  modern. 
Acting  rights  reserved.   Plays  a  full  evening.   Price,  50  Cents. 

A  WOMAN  OF  NO  IMPORTANCE  &Xmou^4 

seven  females.  Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  three  interiors  and  an 
exterior.  Plays  a  full  evening.  Stage  rights  reserved.  Offered  for 
reading  only.    Price,  50  Cents. 


Sent  prepaid  on  receipt  of  price  by 

Walter  i[K  rafter  &  Company 

No.  5  Hamilton  Place,  Boston,  Massachusetts 


